Peggy booked a massage and chakra clearing with me the day after Thanksgiving. She came in irritated and stressed. A friend had just died and she was having a lot of trouble coping. When she got on the table, I could feel her body buzzing like it was almost on fire. Everything felt like it was on high alert and had been for quite some time.

The chakra clearing showed that her energies were moving sluggishly. The area between her shoulder blades was very, very tight and felt very constricted. I laid my hand there and starting clearing and working with her energy. Peggy started getting restless on the table. She started talking about Thanksgiving dinner with her family and how awful it was for her. She had shown up to the house at 6 o’clock and found out they had eaten without her, but had saved her a plate. She said she started crying and they started yelling her, so she left the house and drove home.

“It’s not safe to cry in front of my family,” she said, her voice shaking. “They only criticize me. My mother is so angry at me for leaving.”

We concentrated the rest of the session in freeing her neck, and shoulders by concentrating on the heart chakra. The area between Peggy’s shoulder blades is also is also home to the heart chakra and behind is where it stores the information of the past. The body can store heart-ache here as well as consciousness of imbalances in relationships.

Also if her biomechanics were out of alignment, this affected her chakras’ ability to filter energy as well. If someone’s head is chronically forward it rounds the shoulders and pulls between them.

This can also be an unconscious attempt at protecting ones self, cover the heart to prevent any more pain or abuse from getting hit.

Most of the energy in Peggy’s body didn’t belong to her. As we worked, I saw her family had trained her to take in their energy and projections. She had a role as the scapegoat, she had been given the family job of getting rid of the unwanted energy of her family. It had taken a toll on her and her heart chakra was practically blocked. She had an energetic habit of taking energy into her body. This caused her to be easily triggered. When she was triggered she was took in energy faster and quickly.

Energy that doesn’t belong to you doesn’t affect you unless it gets into your body. One way it can is through the chakras. They are energetic vortexes and can suck in and process the energies of others. If an energy is sent with an intention of ill will or someone is in a difficult stage of consciousness and throwing energy around, it can cause someone to go into duress. In the case with Peggy’s family, they usually “aimed,” their own pain and heartbreak at her and projected it on to her. Her body had been trained to take in the energy of others. She’s literally be taught to take things personally.

The shoulder blades are a seat of tension and worry. The muscles in between shoulder blades are also known as the rhomboids. It is place where we can store our “Lets get this finished and done,” energy. It also pushes this motivational energy from the root chakra, which is also a major manifestation center. When unbalanced, its also an energy of anger and frustration. Sometimes we can tuck away our manifestation power back here. All that awesome energy churned by the root chakra. This can create a block between the heart chakra and the root chakra. Our hearts desires can’t be made whole when a block is in place. In doing this we are literally cut off from creating in the physical world with our connection to Source energy.

What can happen in an energetic struggle in family dynamics, one can be taught to take on the responsibility and also the energies of other people. When it comes to dysfunction within familial energetics, one needs to look at the roles in families as well Energy can be passed and stored with people within the family. Unwanted, denser energy can be handled like a game of hot potato and can be passed around to others in order to avoid processing and healing it. All dense energy is, is power that needs to be integrated. However integrating energy that doesn’t belong to you can make it more difficult.

   More often then not there is a healer in the family. This is a person that can take on the energies of others into their own 

bodies. This can mean feeling feelings for others, to even having aches and pains that don’t belong to them.

This is energetic co-dependency or a sharing of people’s energies. If you don’t know energetically where you end or begin it is very difficult to hold your own energies. Chances are, you are holding and experiencing things that don’t belong to you.  Anger can be a sign of an invasion here. Anger at parents, anger at siblings. If anger is a first response, it can indicative of energy trapped within the back of the heart chakra. Charkas are energetic organs of consciousness that have been mapped and used for thousands of years.

Some basics in Chakral Anatomy

1. There is an inner and out wheel of the chakra.

2. The outer wheel holds dharma, or connection to spirit and being spirit lead.

3. The inner wheel holds karma, or energetic debts, this can either be one’s own debts or the debts of the family in general.

4. Each chakra has 7 layers.

5. Each chakra has a Body, Mind, Spirit function, similar to how each organ has a specific function.

6. The inner and outer wheels of the chakras spin

7. Each chakra in interconnected to the others at several different connection points.

8. If a chakra becomes imbalanced, over time, this will affect an individual mentally, emotionally or physically.

How to Train Your Chakras from Taking on Family Member Energy

Don’t take it personally.

Energetically taking something personally is inviting energy that isn’t harmonious into your field and it can land on your body. You can literally spend your time feeling feelings, intentions and aspirations that aren’t yours and diving into consciousness that aren’t yours either. Imagine spending your entire life working as a doctor when your spiritual calling was to actually be an architect. We can take on the intentions or the instructions meant for others with the simple act of taking things personally. Now this of course is easier said then done. Objectifying the energy is a tool that can be used with the simple question, “Is this mine?”

How not to Take things personally.

Is something bugging you right now? Like an interaction with a co-worker or an event you need to go? Is something taking you away from your bliss?  Tune in and concentrate on this issue and ask the question, “Is this mine?” See how much of of the sensation truly belongs to you. Then set the intention, “I release everything that doesn’t belong to me.” And notice what changes in your state of consciousness. Monitoring what you are feeling and thinking is a great way to teach your body what to hold onto and what not to hold to.  Make this a meditation.

Noticing triggers is also a very important way to see if what you are feeling is you taking another’s energy personally. A trigger is a state of consciousness where you have regressed into a wounded state. For example, if you are having a happy day and your Mom calls you and criticizes something you are doing with your life. A trigger is a re-experiencing a hurt that happened in the past. The severity of it has less to do with the current situation and more to do with something that happened a long time ago. However, when one happens, its essentially like taking a time machine back to the original hurt. You feel it just as deeply and the pain that accompanies it. When this happens, what you are experiencing does not tend to match with what is happening in the present moment.

Identifying thoughts, Feelings or Intentions as Yours

One way to dive deep into noticing if energies are yours is through a somatic chakra clearing. This does two things, re-educating your body on how it moves as well as giving the rear of the heart chakra an opportunity to clear any stuck energy that has clogged its filters and helps with the severity of a trigger.

Somatic Chakra Clearing

  1. Sit in a chair and feel your sit bones underneath you and float the top of your head up to the ceiling. Your head should feel
  1. like it weights nothing and your sit bones should feel very, very heavy.
  2. Slide your shoulder blades toward each other and through to the spine.
  3. Compress your ribcage and feel your breath moving to the back body as well.  
  4. Tune in and remember a difficult holiday experience with your family. And notice how your state of consciousness shifts. Do you feel agitated? Stressed? What sensations do you notice around your body?  What happens to your breath.
  5. Tune back into your breath and the movement of your shoulders and “sit” with the sensations you feel around the memory. Try not to get lost in the memory, just notice what its bringing up for you. What does this trigger look, feel, sound like, etc
  6. Sit with this while moving the shoulder blades together.
  7. Now shift to sliding the shoulder blades up and down. Feel your shoulders moving up towards your ears and back down again.
  8. Also when you go and see your family, repeat this exercise if you notice yourself getting triggered. You have trained your energies and your body to move back into a calmer, more relaxed state with these movements!

Want to learn more about managing your energies during family holidays, Starting November 24th, join us for a “Thriving During the Holidays 7 Day Challenge!”